You can say what you want about me but I'm the guy that does the jobs that have to get done.
Wednesday, December 9, 2020
"Mr. Right" by Malia May Johnson
Monday, December 7, 2020
Daddy Loves You With All of His Heart Little Princess Elizabeth Grace Johnson
This morning my brother from another Mother Marcus came over to drop something off.
Marcus saw my daughter Elizabeth, who's first word by the way was "Dada", and he immediately said - "Aww! Liz is adorable. The boys are going to be lined up around the block to ask her out when she gets older."
Listen here you little future perverts, who are only about 3 years old right now, and I might be 10-15 years early with this warning, but still, this Daddy right here, Uncle Marcus, Uncle Chris, Uncle Kosta, Uncle Kevin, Uncle Matt, Uncle Gary, Uncle CIA, Uncle US Army, Uncle US Airforce, Uncle US Navy, Uncle US Marines, Uncle US Coast Guard, Uncle US Space Force, and Uncle US Secret Service will be watching every single one of you horny little teenagers who try to deflower my little princess!
My little princess Elizabeth Grace Johnson will not be deflowered! I am the most protective Daddy on earth times 10!
I'm going to say it one more time for you future hardheaded horny teenagers who may try to make a move on my little baby girl.....My little princess will not be deflowered!
Malia walked in while Marcus and I were talking about all the bodyguards, snipers, cameras, satellites, drones, swimming friggin attack ducks, and other Anti-Deflowering Security measures we will be instituting.
Malia said someday a Prince Charming is going to come along, sweep her off her feet, and deflower her in a way that I will be able to live with.
Seal Team Six, y'all are on anti-sweeping her off her feet security detail. Feel free to use any and all means necessary to subdue the perpetrator trying to sweep my little Liz off her feet!
Malia also thinks she will marry someone just like her Daddy, because that is what little girls do. A little girls Daddy is her first love. I teared up and then I panicked. Liz, when you grow up marry a Doctor. God, please don’t let her fall in love with “Evil Eddie” or something.
Malia, you may be right that a Princess Charming may someday sweep my little princess off her feet, but he is going to have to go through the ultimate daddy's little girl protection gauntlet imaginable.
Malia, to answer your question if I will give my little princess away on her wedding day, and the answer is- Never!
In all seriousness, I hope my little Princess Liz finds the man of her dreams, and they live happily ever after, but I will be watching you Prince Charming/Man of My Daughter's Dreams!
I feel like the luckiest guy/daddy/husband/dude in the world!
Sincerely,
Michael "MJ The Daddy" Johnson
P.S. I really do love being a Daddy..... https://www.mjtheterrible.com/
P.P.S. Malia, thank you for making me a Daddy, and thank you for bringing such love and happiness into my life. I never knew true love until we met. You are the light of my life, the fire of my loins, and my penguin infinity forever until the end of days!
Wednesday, December 2, 2020
“MJ The Terrible” & Team Digital Death Plane Crash Details
He was on a flight with his cyber crew, Team Digital Death, back home from visiting with President Elect Joe Biden and Vice President Elect Kamala Harris.
Well, the plane they were on crashed. MJ’s close friend and member of Team Digital Death Marcus was on the plane with MJ when it crashed.
Marcus said MJ slept through the whole thing. He said everybody was screaming and panicking while MJ was sound asleep and dreaming. “MJ was singing a Pearl Jam song in his dream with a smile on his face, while the plane was in free fall.”
Marcus also said MJ didn’t wake up until the paramedics got there. “MJ woke up saying to this big Lumberjack guy named Chuck- Malia, you feel like messing around?”
When he finally was awake, they said MJ asked where the airport was. He had no idea they crashed in a field and almost died.
Team Digital Death member Kevin who was also on the plane, said when they got out and saw where the plane crash landed, MJ said- “I feel bad for the pilot, because it looks like he tried to Captain Sully the thing, and land it in the water, but he was like 50 feet short. Look how close he was to getting us in the water.”
I swear my husband could be sitting in an open field, not a cloud in the sky, and suddenly out of nowhere the storm of the century would hit the field he was in.
Team Digital Death Member J Munda said MJ was completely calm after the crash while everyone else was scared shitless.
Team Digital Death member Gary said, MJ kept trying to find his phone to call me but couldn’t find it.
I’m glad MJ couldn’t find his phone to call me because I left a couple “Where the f@$k are you messages”, and now I feel like a giant bitch. He almost died and I was thinking he was off doing whatever. I thought the worst, in the wrong way. I absolutely trust MJ, but I was being an emotional pregnant crazy woman when I was leaving MJ the “Where the f@$k are you” messages.
I am glad no one on the plane got hurt. After they all got out of the plane, they said they couldn’t stop laughing because it was like nothing had happened at all to MJ, because he slept through the entire traumatic plane crash experience.
I hate to admit it, but after I found out they were okay, I laughed about it too. You would have to know MJ, to know that only something like this could happen to him.
MJ is just prone to the most unimaginable to anyone else type of things happening to and around him.
In the last 5 years, MJ has had subdural hematoma brain surgery, where he had to learn how to walk and talk again, went through a crazy up and down divorce, had 2 apartment fires, we got jumped at a private pool we were swimming at, a pipe burst in our house, and we had to have most of the interior of part of our house re-done, MJ fell down the stairs saving our son Cash from falling down the stairs, he was just in a plane crash, and more.
There is never a boring day being with MJ, and literally anything can happen, both good and bad.
MJ, I love you. I can’t believe you slept through a freakin plane crash! Marcus was like- “When the pilot announced the plane was going down, everybody buckle up and brace for impact, my black ass was scared as hell! Kevin was yelling “Oh God please don’t let us die!” Gary was flipping the f@$k out. Everybody was thinking they were going to die, and I looked over at our fearless leader MJ, and he’s completely relaxed and asleep humming a f@$king Pearl Jam song! I couldn’t reach him to wake him up. I tried to yell at him to wake him up, but he had his headset on, listening to music. The song your crazy ass husband was humming was “I’m Still Alive”. I was thinking, you are about to not be. Wake the f@$k up!”
Kristi, who is also a Team Digital Death member, and was also on the plane that crashed, was sitting across from Marcus, and next to MJ on his left, but across the aisle, said she told Marcus to let MJ sleep. “There is no reason to wake him up for the last minute of his life to be filled with horror. He has been through a lot of shit. Let’s let him enjoy his last minute of dream sleep.”
I am constantly amazed by how hard MJ tries to do good. He tries so hard to do everything right, and be a good guy, a good father, a good husband, a good friend, use his skills to help people, and all of that, and still utter freakin chaos breaks out around him all the time!
If I heard that MJ was on a plane that crashed into a train, that went off the rails and landed on a boat, that sank down into the water, that ran into a submarine, that was filled with aliens, I would almost believe it at this point.
I have determined that special people like MJ, who live the most interesting lives, are in this world to shape it, change it, hold it together, and to give the rest of us something to talk about/entertain us.
Baby, I am never letting you leave home again! Obviously I’m just kidding, but I love you, and I can’t live without you, so don’t die!
Distinguished Intelligence Cross Awarded To Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson For Acts of Extraordinary Heroism – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/
Sunday, November 29, 2020
Nice shooting baby!
Saturday, November 21, 2020
Baby Making Practice Invite For Michael David Johnson
This love video for you is red.
Your mom will be here to pick up the babies soon.
Now bring that sexy body home because I want to make a baby with you in the bedroom!
From: Your Loving Wife Always, But Today I'm Your Love Slave All Day Long!
P.S. You know how you made the "Baby Making Heat Scale" to measure my baby making heat horniness? Well, I just tested myself, and the scale exploded!
P.P.S. Dr. Frincke, you might wanna have the medical staff at Walter Reed on standby, because I'm about to do things to MJ that his body might not be able to handle!
Saturday, November 14, 2020
My Favorite Quotes From People That I Know Volume 16
Wednesday, May 1, 2019
How To Get Your Emails Read
How To Get Your Emails Read:
It can be frustrating when emails you sent that you know are important, don't get read.
Most email providers have an option to m
Depending on the amount of emails you send out, the size of the company/organization, and your time constraints, following up an email with a phone call is usually a very effective method to get your emails read.
Unfortunately, emails can be a lot like advertisements, where unless you have a powerful headline, and in this case subject line, your ad/email may not be looked at/read.
Here are some proven subject headlines you can use to get a higher email open rate.
Note: Some of these subject headlines are pretty aggressive, so use your best judgment as to which one is appropriate for the situation.
1. Urgent message enclosed
2. Open ASAP (Time sensitive)
3. Warning! Read immediately!
4. - Need to know information enclosed -
5. This could be the most important email in your inbox
6. THIS IS A MUST READ EMAIL
7. OMG! You gotta see this.....
8. +++++IMPORTANT+++++
9. Read me!!!!!
10. Important: Your results are enclosed
One final tip: Using a persons name improves the odds that your email will get opened. We are almost programmed, for lack of a better word, to see things addressed specifically to us as more important.
10 Powerful Tips To Help You Get What You Want - https://www.mastersofmoney.com/10powerfultipstohelpyougetwhatyouwant/
Tuesday, January 8, 2019
CIA Distinguished Intelligence Cross Awarded To Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson For Acts of Extraordinary Heroism
The Distinguished Intelligence Cross is awarded for “a voluntary act or acts of extraordinary heroism involving the acceptance of existing dangers with conspicuous fortitude and exemplary courage”.
Central Intelligence Agency Distinguished Intelligence Cross award recipients are awarded secretly and are rarely known to the public, due to the classification level of the operation, and often cannot be displayed, discussed or acknowledged publicly.
Known Distinguished Intelligence Cross Recipients:
Leo F. Baker (Bay of Pigs invasion)
William F. Buckley (Information collection in situations of incredible danger)
John T. Downey (Held captive in China for more than 20 years before being released in 1973)
Richard Fecteau (Held captive in China for 17 years before being released in 1971)
Wade C. Gray (Bay of Pigs invasion)
Thomas W. Ray (Bay of Pigs Invasion)
Thomas “Pete” Ray (Bay of Pigs invasion)
Riley W. Shamburger (Bay of Pigs invasion)
Greg Vogle (Paramilitary Officer and CIA Trailblazer)
Molly Huckaby Hardy (U.S. embassy bombing in Nairobi)
Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson (Has distinct honor of being the very first Distinguished Intelligence Cross awardee for Cyberwarfare)
You may be wondering what the life of a Distinguished Intelligence Cross (DIC) awardee is really like. Each Distinguished Intelligence Cross awardee has lived/live very interesting lives. I can say that, because I have unique knowledge of previous awardees, and I myself am lucky enough to be able to be an awardee myself.
Here are several links from my blog that describe in detail what the life of a Distinguished Intelligence Cross (DIC) awardee is really like.
Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson Awarded Distinguished Intelligence Cross – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/
The First Conversation Malia and I Ever Had by Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/
Back & Forth Texts Between Malia & “MJ The Terrible” From The First Time “MJ The Terrible” Met Malia’s Friends – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/
Please stop sending me devices. PLEASE! – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/
Ashhole Change Memories & Peace – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/
Walter Reed MJ Care Team Reunion Party Public RSVP – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/
Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson and Son’s Visit To Fort Hood Military Base – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/
MJ The Terrible Saves His Son’s Life – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/
Stuxnet Related Hate Mail and Conspiracy Theories Addressed – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/
Monday, January 7, 2019
Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson Awarded The Distinguished Intelligence Cross
Monday, June 18, 2018
Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson and son CJ With John Wesley Shipp - Greater Austin Comic Con
About John Wesley Shipp-
John Wesley Shipp has portrayed Henry Allen, the father to Grant Gustin's Scarlet Speedster on the CW's hit series The Flash. He also plays Jay Garrick, "The Golden Age hero. Shipp starred as The Flash when CBS brought the series to television in 1990's; in fact, he has played four roles in the "Flash" multiverse: Barry Allen, Professor Zoom, Henry Allen, and Jay Garrick.
A constant presence on television for nearly four decades, Shipp took on another iconic role after The Flash that of Mitch Leery, James Van der Beek's father, on the WB's coming of age series Dawson's Creek. He continued with a memorable turn as boxer Lucky Williams, love interest to Julianne Phillip's Frankie, on Season 5 of NBC's hit drama Sisters, and terrified audiences with his haunting arc as Isaac's abusive father and Beacon Hills gravedigger, Mr. Lahey, opposite Daniel Sharman on MTV's drama Teen Wolf.
Thank you Greater Austin Comic Con, for the fun memories. My son and I loved every minute of it!
Sincerely,
Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson