Monday, October 4, 2021

Happy Birthday Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson (Daddy)!

From your loving and adoring children and wife, we would like to wish you the following birthday wishes: 

“I love you Daddy. Happy Birthday.” Elizabeth Grace Johnson

“Happy Birthday Daddy. I don’t need a diaper anymore.” Cash Michael Johnson

“Hapda birt day Dadda.” Natalie Marie Johnson

“Wuv you Dadda. Hap hap da day.” Michael Christian Johnson

“Berf day Dadda.” Victoria Olivia Johnson

“Dadda ba day.” Caroline Grace Johnson

I was just born in August Daddy. I don’t know any words yet, but if I knew words, I would tell you that I love you and wish you a Happy Birthday. Christopher Alexander Johnson

“I love you with all of me. The best decisions of my life were saying yes when you asked me out, and yes when you asked me to marry you (all 4 times). 

You have impacted the world and changed the course of history during your 41 years on this earth. You have also made me the happiest wife and mother on earth.

I hope today is the best birthday of your life, and I hope you enjoy all the fun surprises we have planned for you today. You are loved and cared about by so many people baby. Happy Birthday!” Malia May Johnson

P.S. “Game Changer” –

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

Welcome To The World Christopher Alexander Johnson

World, meet Christopher Alexander Johnson. Christopher Alexander Johnson, meet the world.

Christopher, you were born at 3:13 am. Your daddy was born at 3:13 pm. You weighed exactly 10 pounds even when you were born. As your grandma, Jeanne Johnson, said about you- "He weighs as much as a sack of potatoes."

Your nicknames while you were in your mommy's womb were "Rebel" and "Fighter". You got those nicknames because you moved, and pushed, and punched, and kicked, a lot. We just figured you were excited to break on through to the other side.

I have good news. You were born a healthy baby. That is good news. Also, the doctor who delivered you that you karate chopped in the face isn't going to press charges against you/us.

Your mother and I are thinking that you are going to be the strong silent type, because you are quiet. You haven't cried much at all in the less than a day that you have been out here in the world.

Bethesda Country Club named me Father of The Year, and the Free Mason's also just named me Father of The Year. I don't know if I deserve to win Father of The Year awards, but I do know that I will be the best father/dad I know how to be. I will tell you a secret. I seem to get all the awards and credit for being a hero and being an awesome dad, and things like that, but the truth is, your mom is the hero and the awesome parent. Your mommy is an incredible mom, person, and wife, and she even has a doctorate from MIT. Your momma is a doctor.

Your big sister Elizabeth already hugged you and pointed at you and said- "Me brother right dare." Your big brother Cash already hugged you, and pointed at you, and said- "Dat Chistioner Rocksander Joshon."

Christopher Alexander Johnson, you were born into a chaotic world, but our house is filled with love and family. We are so happy you are our son. We will always love you and be there for you!


Mommy and Daddy

Friday, June 11, 2021

An "Awesome" Dating Memory

The picture on this post is from one of MJ and I’s first dates. MJ’s mom called while we were on our date. MJ was drunk when she called. Not totally wasted drunk, but for sure inhibitions gone drunk. In the middle of what felt like was a somewhat serious call, MJ said- “Mom, I love Malia. I want to marry her. I saw her boob earlier when it fell out of her shirt. Her boob was awesome. She is awesome. We are having an awesome time. I love you ma. You are an awesome mom. I am sorry (MJ couldn’t remember who it was that was sick at the time, but he remembers it was someone from his family that lives in Tennessee) isn’t awesome. I hope she gets awesome again soon. Can I call you back tomorrow ma? I think our table is ready. We are at that awesome Oasis On The Lake restaurant. The sun is setting. It’s awesome on the eyes. I’ll text you a picture. I love you ma. Bye.”

After he hung up, he asked someone standing by us if they would take our picture so that he could send the picture to his mom. He handed the person his phone to take the picture, and we backed up to the railing. MJ asked me to hold his giant margarita glass because he didn’t want his mom to think he was drunk. I was laughing in the picture because I didn’t want his mom to think I was drunk either, and here I was the innocent one holding this giant margarita glass. I asked MJ why he handed me his drink. Wasn’t he worried about what his mom would think about me? MJ said- “I love my mom and I know she worries about me. I handed you the drink because I thought you would know what to do with it. You are my angel Malia May Johnson.” I said- “My last name isn’t Johnson.” MJ said- “Give it time. You gotta admit it has nice ring to it.

I remember telling MJ later that night that I was doing a good job of making him think it was his idea that we should be together. He said he didn’t care whose idea it was for us to be together, but whosever idea it was, it was a good idea.

Michael David Johnson, I will always hold your margarita, kiss you, make love to you, be with you, have your babies, have your back, be your sounding board, be your muse, listen to you, collaborate with you, do whatever, whenever, however with you and for you, for any and all reasons, and I have no doubt you feel the same way about me. 3-8-2012 forever!


Malia May Now My Last Name Is Johnson

P.S. MJ, I know when you look at this picture the first thought that goes through your mind is me naked wearing the “clod hoppers” shoes I have on in this picture, and I am okay with that, because you know my first thought when I see this picture is you wearing the boots you have on in this picture naked doing “The Dick Dance”. We’re penguins MJ, and you are never getting rid of me!

Our First Slow Dance –

Monday, April 5, 2021

You’ve Got To Stand For Something, or You’ll Fall For Anything by Malia May Johnson

Dedicated to my loving husband (with some side notes for explanation and perspective purposes).


I was born in South Africa, and I lived in South Africa until I graduated secondary school (high school) and came to America to go to college. Most of my family still lives in South Africa. 

I had a very happy childhood. I am proud to be from Cape Town, South Africa. That said, the unemployment rate is 33%, and the poverty rate is almost 60%. 

One of my passions is charity work. My passion charities are animal related causes and South African aid and improvement.

I was told for legal reasons not to mention the name of the charity, or to give specifics about the emergency meeting. I can say that the charitable organization I am referencing relates to South Africa, and the rerouting of money earmarked for food security for children living in poverty, into a startup energy company with no history, and no track record.

I know energy is important, but charities are not investors. Taking money away from starving children to fund a startup company that may or may not succeed, I knew was just wrong. 

Here is what happened last week. A rogue board member called for an emergency vote, in secrecy, to try to divert money for earmarked to buy food for poor kids in South Africa, to pay for an energy startup company. I had heard the board member pushing for the energy company was up to no good, and he was using intimidation tactics to try to get what he wanted. 

When I told MJ about it, he was worried about me going to the meeting. I told MJ I wasn’t going to let a greedy bully take food out of starving children’s mouths. MJ insisted that I not go alone. I told him I was going to take our family lawyer with me, and a bodyguard. MJ insisted that he wanted to go with me several times, but I told me no. I wanted to prove I could stand up for what was right all by myself. I was determined to show how “girl power” tough I was. MJ kept insisting that I bring more people with me, and/or that he be allowed to go with me.
MJ insisting that he go with me made me feel like he didn’t believe in me, and that I couldn’t handle it. MJ kept telling me that he believes in me, but he was worried about what a greedy, selfish bully might try to do if I was the one standing in the way of him getting what he wanted. I thought he was overreacting, because after all, this is a charity, with charitable people, so what’s the worst that can happen?

Before I left for the meeting MJ begged me to let him come with me. I told MJ to stop treating me like I was a little girl, because I am a woman. Then I turned it back on him. I asked him if he would go by himself if he had to, to stand up for what was right, to protect starving children from a greedy, selfish bully trying to take their food away from them. MJ said that he would go by himself if he had to. I then asked him why he was against me going by myself if he himself would do it. He said- “Baby, I believe in you. I know you want to stand up for what is good, and what is right, but bad guys don’t play fair, and sometimes they are willing to use aggressive/dirty tactics to try to get what they want.” He also said- “I realize it may look like I am setting a double standard here, because I told you I would be willing to go alone if I had to, but I don’t want you to go alone. It’s just that you are carrying our unborn child, and sometimes shitheads in some countries don’t believe in equal rights, and they think they can intimidate women.” I could feel myself getting pissed off as those words were coming out of his mouth. I was thinking, how dare he be sexist like that, and how dare he doubt my abilities, especially since he admitted he would do the same thing I was doing. Right before I walked out the door, I said- “Don’t say another word, except you support me and you love me.” He said- “I support you and I love you.” Then he kissed me, and I walked out the door. 

It took us about 45 minutes with traffic, to pick up my/our lawyer, and to get to the meeting in Washington D.C. Bethesda Maryland, where MJ and I live, and where our family attorney live, is give or take traffic, about a 20 minute drive. We practiced on the way. I felt prepared and ready for the meeting. When we arrived, I noticed immediately there were no other board members/charity members there, except the rogue board member and me. For the resolution to pass, to divert the money from the food for kids’ program, to fund the energy startup company, all attending board members had to approve the resolution. Usually at important board meetings like this one, there would be at least 8 to 10 board members present, but at this meeting, there were only 2. There was one board member supporting funding the energy company, and one board member not supporting the funding the energy company (me).

My lawyer and I were nervous/scared, even though my bodyguard was with us, because on our side of the table/room, was only my lawyer (a woman) and I (a woman), and my bodyguard (a woman). On the other side of the table/room, was the board member supporting the energy company (a man), and 16 other men, yes, I counted them, who were there with him. Only one of the 16 other men that were there with the other board member was carrying/had with them any paperwork/documents/files. I asked my lawyer why the other board member had so many people with him. She said- “To intimidate me into supporting the startup energy company.” I asked her if she was intimidated. She said- “I’m a little bit on edge. It is concerning to me that no other board members are attending, especially considering the magnitude of the meeting.” 

The meeting was scheduled to begin at 9:00 am. The other board member tried to call the meeting to order at 8:50 am. I asked that he wait until 9:00, to see if anymore board members showed up. He agreed to wait, but you could tell he was anxious to get started. Both sides were scheduled to present their case, and then the attending board members would vote. A unanimous vote would be required to divert the money for the food for kids’ program, to fund the energy startup company. I was against funding the energy company, but I was willing to hear the other side out, because you never know.

At 8:57 am, we heard a commotion in the hallway. My lawyer and I looked at each other, and she said- “I bet it’s MJ.” I said- “I hope so. I told him I didn’t want him to come because I wanted to do this by myself, but he didn’t want me to, because he was afraid they would try to bully me into agreeing to fund the energy company.” She said- “I think he was right.” I said- “Me too, but now it is too late.” She said- “If that is MJ in the hallway, you are not going to make him leave, are you?” I said- “No.” She said- “I think we can both tell they are up to no good, and you know MJ would never let these guys bully you.” I said- “I hope he shows up even though I told him not to.” 30 seconds later the double doors swing open, and it’s MJ standing there with his bodyguards and a half dozen of his FBI buddies. One of the security guys standing in the hallway said- “I tried to stop them boss, but there were to many of them.” At that moment, I knew for a fact the other board member was up to no good. 
MJ walked up to me, kissed me, and whispered in my ear- “You can hate me for coming to your meeting, but at least I will know you are safe while I am sleeping on the couch tonight.”

Then I whispered in his ear- “I’m sorry I was a bitch to you. I love you.”

Our family lawyer said- “I am glad you showed up. It doesn’t look like they are willing to take no for an answer.”

MJ said- “I am not here to interfere. I support and believe in Malia all the way. I am only here to make sure this is a fair fight.” Then he kissed me and walked to the back of the room.

I whispered to my lawyer- “I love that man.” She whispered back- “Me too today.” Then I turned around, and with complete confidence, because I knew the other board member couldn’t bully me now, said- “That is my husband “MJ The Terrible”. He is not a board member. He is just here for support, like your group is here to support you. I’m ready to get this party started if you are?” Then I sat down. 

The other board member stood up and called the meeting to order. He proposed canceling the vote and rescheduling it for another time. His reason for proposing to cancel the vote was only 2 board members were in attendance, but I have a feeling he proposed canceling the vote because he knew he couldn’t bully me into approving what he wanted.

After the 2 minute meeting was over, I walked up to MJ, and told him he didn’t have to sleep on the couch tonight, on one condition. He had to take me and our lawyer out to a nice breakfast/brunch, to celebrate. He agreed, and took us all out, including his FBI buddies, to a celebratory breakfast/brunch, at The Lafayette restaurant.

MJ, you are an amazing husband and father. I am lucky to have you as my husband, and our babies are lucky to have you as their father. You might not always know the right answers on my Cosmo relationship quizzes, but I know you will always love me, support me, be there for me, and always have my back!

All of my love and devotion,


P.S. MJ, you told said- “You’ve got to stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.” Well, I stood up for what was right, and I fell even more in love with you. It was a win win.

Tuesday, February 9, 2021

It’s You! It’s You! It’s All Because of You!

MJ: I can’t believe the company is taking off like it is. We friggin bought Cyber Intelligence Inc today baby!

Malia: I am so proud of you. Tarica text me that you cried at the press conference. 

MJ: Happy tears baby! 

Malia: You slept through a plane crash like it was nothing, but you tear up at a press conference. You are an original baby.

MJ: Tarica was great at the press conference. They kept trying to ask me questions, and she said- “I will be running the combined company. “MJ The Terrible” will be working on the big picture. If you have questions about Masters of Money buying Cyber Intelligence, I will answer them.” Then I kind of made my exit so she could enjoy the moment and do her thing.

Malia: How did you make your exit? Describe it please. 

MJ: I did a little outro and headed for the exit. 

Malia: I would like to know what you said and did right before you left. 

MJ: Baby, just some nice words and I teared up. It was a moment! Don’t mess with me woman!

Malia: Would I want to hear it? Did you mention anyone during your outro? 

MJ: Baby, I left because I wanted to be with the most incredible person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, to celebrate with her, because without her, I never would have made it out of the hospital 5 years ago. 

Malia: I watched it on TV. That was so romantic. I teared up when I saw you tear up. I had a feeling you were thinking about me at that second. Then you said, and I will never forget it- “Malia. This day was only possible because I was lucky enough to meet an angel on Thursday March 8th, 2012. I’m going to go have a Hollywood happy ending with my wife. Tarica, I know you got this. I gotta go. Bye guys.”

MJ: I meant every word. I want you Malia.

Malia: I’m right here baby. I don’t know what was wetter when I saw you say that my face from the tears, or my you know what between my legs. 

MJ: I have 2 questions I want to ask you, and you have to be honest with me ok? 

Malia: Of course baby! 

MJ: 1. Why did you want to be with me back in 2012? I had nothing to offer you. I wasn’t even allowed to leave the building we met in, because they were still trying to figure out what to do with me after the Stuxnet fiasco. 2. You could have any guy you wanted. You are the most beautiful, brilliant, loving, loyal, giving, woman. Why me Malia? My nickname is “MJ The Terrible”! Why would an angel want to be with “MJ The Terrible”? 

Malia: Well, part of it I can’t explain. I was just drawn to you. There is this incredible energy about you. I was intrigued by you. I mean, you are the only person I have ever heard of that the military and intelligence community had no idea how to handle. You are one of one in that category. That was crazy to me. I guess I expected you to be a monster almost, and here you were this all American guy who looked like a sexy farm boy from Nebraska. When you looked into my eyes, no one has ever looked at me like that before or since. It was electric. Then I got to know you, because the rumors about you were just that, rumors. The real you was so sweet and loving. You didn’t want to be with me because you were worried about me getting hurt. And you always got the door for me. You still do that 9 years later. You could have taken all of the credit for yourself today at the merger press conference, but instead you told all of Bethesda how much you love me, and how I’m the reason for your success. That is up there as far as romantic gestures go baby. There were so many moments that over and over again kept proving you were the one for me. I was amazed that I made you nervous. Here you were with basically every military, defense, and intelligence agency around the world, and even the FBI coming down on you big time, and you didn’t seem all that concerned about it, but I made you nervous. That was unbelievable to me. My heart belonged to you the second you looked deep into my eyes. My heart still belongs to you, and my heart always will belong to you. 

MJ: Fair enough. There has been so much pressure and stress in the build up to today’s merger announcement. I need some stress relief/to blow off some stress, and chill for a day or 2.

Malia: What kind of stress relief did you have in mind? Will I be naked for this stress relief that you speak of? 

MJ: ;) and yes!

Malia: I had a feeling you would want some sexual healing after all the hoopla today, so I prepared accordingly. 

MJ: How did you prepare? 

Malia: Well, let’s just say that I don’t have any hair from the neck down, I’m wearing something from Victoria Secret, and I got all dolled up for you. You will be getting the heroes welcome you deserve. I can’t believe you did that today Michael David Johnson. I got like 10 calls and texts after you told the whole city that I’m an angel and I’m the reason for your success. I can’t believe you did that! You’re crazy baby!

MJ: I’m crazy about you!

Malia: I heard you come in the front door. You know why I love you, because you are so loving that you don’t even realize how loving you are. I am ready and waiting in our bedroom to make mad passionate love to you!

Masters of Money LLC Acquires Cyber Intelligence Inc for $14.6 Million Dollars –

Masters of Money, LLC. Acquires Cyber Intelligence, Inc. for $14,600,000

Masters of Money, LLC., announced today, on the 13th anniversary of the company's founding, that it was acquiring Cyber Intelligence, Inc., for $14,600,000.

This is Masters of Money, LLC.'s 3rd and largest company acquisition.

Masters of Money's recent company acquisitions: The Money Channel for $1,700,000 (2017), Nerdy Black Girls, LLC., for $350,000 (2018), and Cyber Intelligence, Inc., for $14,600,000 (2021).

Merger Details:

Upon completion of the merger, Masters of Money, LLC., will have 104 employees/contractors, with annual revenue of $117,000,000 (approx).

Masters of Money, LLC., will be selling Cyber Intelligence, Inc.'s building in Baltimore, Maryland, and moving the company and its employees into Masters of Money's office building, located in Bethesda Maryland's central business district, about 35 miles away.

Peter Gil, Founder and CEO of Cyber Intelligence, Inc., will stay on for 2 years, to help facilitate the merger and synergize the 2 companies.

Tarica Patel, the current head of Masters of Money, LLC., will lead the newly combined company.

The merger serves 3 main business purposes for Masters of Money, LLC., and the other companies under the parent company, Foreign Corporation (LTD) AG.'s family of companies.

1. The ability to compete for full mid to large scale contracts.

2. Expansion into the artificial intelligence marketplace.

3. New open source platform testing and security abilities and functions.

Supporting Quotes:

"We have worked well together for years. Both companies are strengthening their weaknesses with this merger. This merger made sense every way we looked at it. Bottomline, we belong together under the same roof, and I'm looking forward to maximizing our future potential together." Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson, Founder of Masters of Money, LLC., and Senior Partner of Masters of Money, LLC.'s parent company, Foreign Corporation (LTD) AG.

"I don't think either company had plans to merge. It just happened naturally. I looked at MJ when we were working on a project late one night, and said- "If our companies merged, we wouldn't need to outsource projects anymore. We would have everything we need in house to compete for contractors ourselves. No more partial contracts. From there, MJ and I started looking at ways to make a merger happen." Peter Gil, Founder and CEO of Cyber Intelligence, Inc.

"We now have the ability to provide anything our clients ask for. If we want to create or need to create something, we will have the ability to do it. It's extremely exciting. In some ways this merger makes us the mid-tier leader in our market. If we manage the newly combined company the right way, I think within the next 10 years, our company could have a valuation of a billion dollars, and possibly more." Tarica Patel, the current head of Masters of Money, LLC., who will lead the newly combined company.

About Masters of Money, LLC.

Masters of Money, LLC., was founded by Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson, to create and sell how to information, to people looking for ways to make and save money.

The goal of Masters of Money: Provide the tools, resources, and strategies, to help anyone who wants to be more successful, create the life of their dreams.

Masters of Money’s products and services list:

Opt in email marketing – Online advertising – Social media marketing – Content creation – Content marketing – Internet marketing – Public relations campaigns – Web design – Direct response marketing – Copywriting – Company and / or product branding campaigns – Fundraising – Lead generation – Company and / or product launches – Business consulting – Partnering for profits campaigns – Blogging – Content library development – Content library maximization marketing – Multi-channel marketing creation and consultation – Ghostwriting – Ebook creation – Company continuity programs – Ezine creation – Ezine marketing – Digital newsletter creation – Digital newsletter marketing – Content trading – Information brokering – Company and / or product endorsements – Guest blogging – Business opportunity offers – Create and sell making and saving money strategies and information

Company contact information:

Foreign Corporation (LTD) AG.
d/b/a Masters of Money, LLC.
3839 McKinney Avenue
Suite 155-2281
Dallas, TX 75204
Phone #: (214) 329-4241
Fax #: (214) 599-9192

Monday, February 1, 2021

American Hero Distinguished Intelligence Cross awardee Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson and his wife Malia Johnson, Donate $1,000,000 To COVID19 Relief Efforts

Mr. Johnson has the distinct honor of being the first Distinguished Intelligence Cross awardee for Cyberwarfare, by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency.

The world has never faced a crisis like COVID-19. The pandemic is impacting communities everywhere. It’s never been more urgent to support the global response, led by the World Health Organization (WHO).  

Donations support the World Health Organization's work, including with partners, to track and understand the spread of the virus; to ensure patients get the care they need, and frontline workers get essential supplies and information; and to accelerate research and development of a vaccine and treatments for all who need them.

Supporting Quotes

"MJ and I want our children to grow up in a world without COVID19, and we are dedicated to helping make that happen." Malia Johnson

"I don't think anyone expected something like COVID19 to come along and do the damage it has done and continues to do. To overcome it, it is going to take a massive global effort. Our family is trying to do our part to help in any way that we can." Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

"Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, your contribution to relief efforts will greatly impact our efforts to slow the growth, and eventually end the COVID-19 pandemic. Thank you again so very much for your very generous donation." Dr Zsuzsanna Jakab (WHO Deputy Director-General)

"We at the World Health Organization, want to thank Mr. and Mrs. Johnson for their generous donation. It was so very cute your joke about being an African American couple, because Mrs. Johnson hails from Africa, and Mr. Johnson hails from America. You have both made your native lands proud through your generosity. We share your goal of eradicating COVID-19." Dr. Tedros Ghebreyesus (WHO Director-General)

To make a donation, or to find out how you can aid in the fight against COVID-19, click here-

About Masters of Money, LLC.

Masters of Money, LLC., was founded by Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson, to create and sell how to information, to people looking for ways to make and save money.

The goal of Masters of Money: Provide the tools, resources, and strategies, to help anyone who wants to be more successful, create the life of their dreams.

Masters of Money’s products and services list:

Opt in email marketing – Online advertising – Social media marketing – Content creation – Content marketing – Internet marketing – Public relations campaigns – Web design – Direct response marketing – Copywriting – Company and / or product branding campaigns – Fundraising – Lead generation – Company and / or product launches – Business consulting – Partnering for profits campaigns – Blogging – Content library development – Content library maximization marketing – Multi-channel marketing creation and consultation – Ghostwriting – Ebook creation – Company continuity programs – Ezine creation – Ezine marketing – Digital newsletter creation – Digital newsletter marketing – Content trading – Information brokering – Company and / or product endorsements – Guest blogging – Business opportunity offers – Create and sell making and saving money strategies and information

Company contact information:

Foreign Corporation (LTD) AG.
d/b/a Masters of Money, LLC.
3839 McKinney Avenue
Suite 155-2281
Dallas, TX 75204
Phone #: (214) 329-4241
Fax #: (214) 599-9192

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

"Mr. Right" by Malia May Johnson

Some of my friends have been sharing their recent dating horror stories me.

Either the men they are dating cheated on them, or they treat them like crap, etc.

I try to tell them to keep trying, because there are good guys out there.

Ladies, good men are out there, but Mr. Right might not exactly be walking around wearing a sign that says "I'm Mr. Right".

I met my "Mr. Right" on a military base in San Antonio Texas. Word to the wise ladies, "Mr. Right" may not always be "Mr Perfect". In fact, my "Mr. Right", when I met him wasn't allowed to leave the building on the military base where I met him, because Interpol (International Criminal Police Organization), was about to label my "Mr. Right" as "The most dangerous hacker in the world", and "A threat to cyber security infrastructure worldwide". 

Later down the road, Interpol and the other intelligence agencies around the world would come to realize he was a hero, and he saved the world from nuclear disaster. 

Sometimes you have to see the potential in a possible "Mr. Right", because they might not be "Mr. Right", right now. 

Ladies, you might be one of the only one's, or the only one, who believes your man/the guy you like/love has a lot of potential, but I can tell you this....When your man/the guy you like/love fulfills his true potential, and he realizes you were one of the only one's/the only one who believed in him before he made it, he will love you more than you can possibly imagine. He will love you the way you have always wanted to be loved.

MJ, thank you for being so good to me. I am so glad we found each other. You are Ken, Mr. Right, Prince Charming, and Romeo all rolled into one. 

I let MJ read this post before I posted it. He said- "So I did good?" Yes baby, you did good. You had the potential to become my Mr. Right, and that is exactly what you became! I love you Michael "Mr. Right The Terrible" Johnson!


Malia May Johnson

Monday, December 7, 2020

Daddy Loves You With All of His Heart Little Princess Elizabeth Grace Johnson

This morning my brother from another Mother Marcus came over to drop something off.


Marcus saw my daughter Elizabeth, who's first word by the way was "Dada", and he immediately said - "Aww! Liz is adorable. The boys are going to be lined up around the block to ask her out when she gets older." 


Listen here you little future perverts, who are only about 3 years old right now, and I might be 10-15 years early with this warning, but still, this Daddy right here, Uncle Marcus, Uncle Chris, Uncle Kosta, Uncle Kevin, Uncle Matt, Uncle Gary, Uncle CIA, Uncle US Army, Uncle US Airforce, Uncle US Navy, Uncle US Marines, Uncle US Coast Guard, Uncle US Space Force, and Uncle US Secret Service will be watching every single one of you horny little teenagers who try to deflower my little princess! 


My little princess Elizabeth Grace Johnson will not be deflowered! I am the most protective Daddy on earth times 10!


I'm going to say it one more time for you future hardheaded horny teenagers who may try to make a move on my little baby girl.....My little princess will not be deflowered!


Malia walked in while Marcus and I were talking about all the bodyguards, snipers, cameras, satellites, drones, swimming friggin attack ducks, and other Anti-Deflowering Security measures we will be instituting. 


Malia said someday a Prince Charming is going to come along, sweep her off her feet, and deflower her in a way that I will be able to live with.


Seal Team Six, y'all are on anti-sweeping her off her feet security detail. Feel free to use any and all means necessary to subdue the perpetrator trying to sweep my little Liz off her feet!


Malia also thinks she will marry someone just like her Daddy, because that is what little girls do. A little girls Daddy is her first love. I teared up and then I panicked. Liz, when you grow up marry a Doctor. God, please don’t let her fall in love with “Evil Eddie” or something.


Malia, you may be right that a Princess Charming may someday sweep my little princess off her feet, but he is going to have to go through the ultimate daddy's little girl protection gauntlet imaginable. 


Malia, to answer your question if I will give my little princess away on her wedding day, and the answer is- Never!


In all seriousness, I hope my little Princess Liz finds the man of her dreams, and they live happily ever after, but I will be watching you Prince Charming/Man of My Daughter's Dreams!


I feel like the luckiest guy/daddy/husband/dude in the world! 



Michael "MJ The Daddy" Johnson

P.S. I really do love being a Daddy.....

P.P.S. Malia, thank you for making me a Daddy, and thank you for bringing such love and happiness into my life. I never knew true love until we met. You are the light of my life, the fire of my loins, and my penguin infinity forever until the end of days! 

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

“MJ The Terrible” & Team Digital Death Plane Crash Details

I was freaking out because MJ didn’t come home yesterday like he was supposed to, and I knew something was wrong.

He was on a flight with his cyber crew, Team Digital Death, back home from visiting with President Elect Joe Biden and Vice President Elect Kamala Harris.

Well, the plane they were on crashed. MJ’s close friend and member of Team Digital Death Marcus was on the plane with MJ when it crashed.

Marcus said MJ slept through the whole thing. He said everybody was screaming and panicking while MJ was sound asleep and dreaming. “MJ was singing a Pearl Jam song in his dream with a smile on his face, while the plane was in free fall.”

Marcus also said MJ didn’t wake up until the paramedics got there. “MJ woke up saying to this big Lumberjack guy named Chuck- Malia, you feel like messing around?”

When he finally was awake, they said MJ asked where the airport was. He had no idea they crashed in a field and almost died.

Team Digital Death member Kevin who was also on the plane, said when they got out and saw where the plane crash landed, MJ said- “I feel bad for the pilot, because it looks like he tried to Captain Sully the thing, and land it in the water, but he was like 50 feet short. Look how close he was to getting us in the water.”

I swear my husband could be sitting in an open field, not a cloud in the sky, and suddenly out of nowhere the storm of the century would hit the field he was in.

Team Digital Death Member J Munda said MJ was completely calm after the crash while everyone else was scared shitless.

Team Digital Death member Gary said, MJ kept trying to find his phone to call me but couldn’t find it.

I’m glad MJ couldn’t find his phone to call me because I left a couple “Where the f@$k are you messages”, and now I feel like a giant bitch. He almost died and I was thinking he was off doing whatever. I thought the worst, in the wrong way. I absolutely trust MJ, but I was being an emotional pregnant crazy woman when I was leaving MJ the “Where the f@$k are you” messages.

I am glad no one on the plane got hurt. After they all got out of the plane, they said they couldn’t stop laughing because it was like nothing had happened at all to MJ, because he slept through the entire traumatic plane crash experience.

I hate to admit it, but after I found out they were okay, I laughed about it too. You would have to know MJ, to know that only something like this could happen to him.

MJ is just prone to the most unimaginable to anyone else type of things happening to and around him.

In the last 5 years, MJ has had subdural hematoma brain surgery, where he had to learn how to walk and talk again, went through a crazy up and down divorce, had 2 apartment fires, we got jumped at a private pool we were swimming at, a pipe burst in our house, and we had to have most of the interior of part of our house re-done, MJ fell down the stairs saving our son Cash from falling down the stairs, he was just in a plane crash, and more.

There is never a boring day being with MJ, and literally anything can happen, both good and bad.

MJ, I love you. I can’t believe you slept through a freakin plane crash! Marcus was like- “When the pilot announced the plane was going down, everybody buckle up and brace for impact, my black ass was scared as hell! Kevin was yelling “Oh God please don’t let us die!” Gary was flipping the f@$k out. Everybody was thinking they were going to die, and I looked over at our fearless leader MJ, and he’s completely relaxed and asleep humming a f@$king Pearl Jam song! I couldn’t reach him to wake him up. I tried to yell at him to wake him up, but he had his headset on, listening to music. The song your crazy ass husband was humming was “I’m Still Alive”. I was thinking, you are about to not be. Wake the f@$k up!”

Kristi, who is also a Team Digital Death member, and was also on the plane that crashed, was sitting across from Marcus, and next to MJ on his left, but across the aisle, said she told Marcus to let MJ sleep. “There is no reason to wake him up for the last minute of his life to be filled with horror. He has been through a lot of shit. Let’s let him enjoy his last minute of dream sleep.”

I am constantly amazed by how hard MJ tries to do good. He tries so hard to do everything right, and be a good guy, a good father, a good husband, a good friend, use his skills to help people, and all of that, and still utter freakin chaos breaks out around him all the time!

If I heard that MJ was on a plane that crashed into a train, that went off the rails and landed on a boat, that sank down into the water, that ran into a submarine, that was filled with aliens, I would almost believe it at this point.

I have determined that special people like MJ, who live the most interesting lives, are in this world to shape it, change it, hold it together, and to give the rest of us something to talk about/entertain us.

Baby, I am never letting you leave home again! Obviously I’m just kidding, but I love you, and I can’t live without you, so don’t die!

Distinguished Intelligence Cross Awarded To Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson For Acts of Extraordinary Heroism –