Happy 13th Anniversary Malia May Johnson!

The photo on this post is the first ever photo of Malia and I together. The photo was taken the day we met, 3-8-2012, at Joint Base San Antonio, in Texas. 

I was not in a good place. You can tell by the look on my face. But little did I know that the girl in the photo was going to radically change my life for the better, and become my other half. 

Malia May Johnson, you are too good to be true, and let's face it, you're probably an alien from outer space because you are so rare, but I don't care. I love you with every beat of my heart! 

To the love of my life, the mother of our children, the woman who fell in love with me when I was public enemy #1, the woman who nursed me back from the dead after my subdural hematoma brain surgery, and the angel on earth who is the center of my universe- Happy 13th Anniversary baby cakes! 

The Day Malia and I Met (3-8-2012) - https://www.therealmjtheterrible.com/the-day-malia-and-i-met-3-8-2012/

An "Awesome" Dating Memory

The picture on this post is from one of MJ and I’s first dates. MJ’s mom called while we were on our date. MJ was drunk when she called. Not totally wasted drunk, but for sure inhibitions gone drunk. In the middle of what felt like was a somewhat serious call, MJ said- “Mom, I love Malia. I want to marry her. I saw her boob earlier when it fell out of her shirt. Her boob was awesome. She is awesome. We are having an awesome time. I love you ma. You are an awesome mom. I am sorry (MJ couldn’t remember who it was that was sick at the time, but he remembers it was someone from his family that lives in Tennessee) isn’t awesome. I hope she gets awesome again soon. Can I call you back tomorrow ma? I think our table is ready. We are at that awesome Oasis On The Lake restaurant. The sun is setting. It’s awesome on the eyes. I’ll text you a picture. I love you ma. Bye.”

After he hung up, he asked someone standing by us if they would take our picture so that he could send the picture to his mom. He handed the person his phone to take the picture, and we backed up to the railing. MJ asked me to hold his giant margarita glass because he didn’t want his mom to think he was drunk. I was laughing in the picture because I didn’t want his mom to think I was drunk either, and here I was the innocent one holding this giant margarita glass. I asked MJ why he handed me his drink. Wasn’t he worried about what his mom would think about me? MJ said- “I love my mom and I know she worries about me. I handed you the drink because I thought you would know what to do with it. You are my angel Malia May Johnson.” I said- “My last name isn’t Johnson.” MJ said- “Give it time. You gotta admit it has nice ring to it.

I remember telling MJ later that night that I was doing a good job of making him think it was his idea that we should be together. He said he didn’t care whose idea it was for us to be together, but whosever idea it was, it was a good idea.

Michael David Johnson, I will always hold your margarita, kiss you, make love to you, be with you, have your babies, have your back, be your sounding board, be your muse, listen to you, collaborate with you, do whatever, whenever, however with you and for you, for any and all reasons, and I have no doubt you feel the same way about me. 3-8-2012 forever!

Love,

Malia May Now My Last Name Is Johnson

P.S. MJ, I know when you look at this picture the first thought that goes through your mind is me naked wearing the “clod hoppers” shoes I have on in this picture, and I am okay with that, because you know my first thought when I see this picture is you wearing the boots you have on in this picture naked doing “The Dick Dance”. We’re penguins MJ, and you are never getting rid of me!

Our First Slow Dance – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/ourfirstslowdance/

You’ve Got To Stand For Something, or You’ll Fall For Anything by Malia May Johnson

Dedicated to my loving husband (with some side notes for explanation and perspective purposes).

MJ,

I was born in South Africa, and I lived in South Africa until I graduated secondary school (high school) and came to America to go to college. Most of my family still lives in South Africa. 

I had a very happy childhood. I am proud to be from Cape Town, South Africa. That said, the unemployment rate is 33%, and the poverty rate is almost 60%. 

One of my passions is charity work. My passion charities are animal related causes and South African aid and improvement.

I was told for legal reasons not to mention the name of the charity, or to give specifics about the emergency meeting. I can say that the charitable organization I am referencing relates to South Africa, and the rerouting of money earmarked for food security for children living in poverty, into a startup energy company with no history, and no track record.

I know energy is important, but charities are not investors. Taking money away from starving children to fund a startup company that may or may not succeed, I knew was just wrong. 

Here is what happened last week. A rogue board member called for an emergency vote, in secrecy, to try to divert money for earmarked to buy food for poor kids in South Africa, to pay for an energy startup company. I had heard the board member pushing for the energy company was up to no good, and he was using intimidation tactics to try to get what he wanted. 

When I told MJ about it, he was worried about me going to the meeting. I told MJ I wasn’t going to let a greedy bully take food out of starving children’s mouths. MJ insisted that I not go alone. I told him I was going to take our family lawyer with me, and a bodyguard. MJ insisted that he wanted to go with me several times, but I told me no. I wanted to prove I could stand up for what was right all by myself. I was determined to show how “girl power” tough I was. MJ kept insisting that I bring more people with me, and/or that he be allowed to go with me.

 

MJ insisting that he go with me made me feel like he didn’t believe in me, and that I couldn’t handle it. MJ kept telling me that he believes in me, but he was worried about what a greedy, selfish bully might try to do if I was the one standing in the way of him getting what he wanted. I thought he was overreacting, because after all, this is a charity, with charitable people, so what’s the worst that can happen?

Before I left for the meeting MJ begged me to let him come with me. I told MJ to stop treating me like I was a little girl, because I am a woman. Then I turned it back on him. I asked him if he would go by himself if he had to, to stand up for what was right, to protect starving children from a greedy, selfish bully trying to take their food away from them. MJ said that he would go by himself if he had to. I then asked him why he was against me going by myself if he himself would do it. He said- “Baby, I believe in you. I know you want to stand up for what is good, and what is right, but bad guys don’t play fair, and sometimes they are willing to use aggressive/dirty tactics to try to get what they want.” He also said- “I realize it may look like I am setting a double standard here, because I told you I would be willing to go alone if I had to, but I don’t want you to go alone. It’s just that you are carrying our unborn child, and sometimes shitheads in some countries don’t believe in equal rights, and they think they can intimidate women.” I could feel myself getting pissed off as those words were coming out of his mouth. I was thinking, how dare he be sexist like that, and how dare he doubt my abilities, especially since he admitted he would do the same thing I was doing. Right before I walked out the door, I said- “Don’t say another word, except you support me and you love me.” He said- “I support you and I love you.” Then he kissed me, and I walked out the door. 

It took us about 45 minutes with traffic, to pick up my/our lawyer, and to get to the meeting in Washington D.C. Bethesda Maryland, where MJ and I live, and where our family attorney live, is give or take traffic, about a 20 minute drive. We practiced on the way. I felt prepared and ready for the meeting. When we arrived, I noticed immediately there were no other board members/charity members there, except the rogue board member and me. For the resolution to pass, to divert the money from the food for kids’ program, to fund the energy startup company, all attending board members had to approve the resolution. Usually at important board meetings like this one, there would be at least 8 to 10 board members present, but at this meeting, there were only 2. There was one board member supporting funding the energy company, and one board member not supporting the funding the energy company (me).

My lawyer and I were nervous/scared, even though my bodyguard was with us, because on our side of the table/room, was only my lawyer (a woman) and I (a woman), and my bodyguard (a woman). On the other side of the table/room, was the board member supporting the energy company (a man), and 16 other men, yes, I counted them, who were there with him. Only one of the 16 other men that were there with the other board member was carrying/had with them any paperwork/documents/files. I asked my lawyer why the other board member had so many people with him. She said- “To intimidate me into supporting the startup energy company.” I asked her if she was intimidated. She said- “I’m a little bit on edge. It is concerning to me that no other board members are attending, especially considering the magnitude of the meeting.” 

The meeting was scheduled to begin at 9:00 am. The other board member tried to call the meeting to order at 8:50 am. I asked that he wait until 9:00, to see if anymore board members showed up. He agreed to wait, but you could tell he was anxious to get started. Both sides were scheduled to present their case, and then the attending board members would vote. A unanimous vote would be required to divert the money for the food for kids’ program, to fund the energy startup company. I was against funding the energy company, but I was willing to hear the other side out, because you never know.

At 8:57 am, we heard a commotion in the hallway. My lawyer and I looked at each other, and she said- “I bet it’s MJ.” I said- “I hope so. I told him I didn’t want him to come because I wanted to do this by myself, but he didn’t want me to, because he was afraid they would try to bully me into agreeing to fund the energy company.” She said- “I think he was right.” I said- “Me too, but now it is too late.” She said- “If that is MJ in the hallway, you are not going to make him leave, are you?” I said- “No.” She said- “I think we can both tell they are up to no good, and you know MJ would never let these guys bully you.” I said- “I hope he shows up even though I told him not to.” 30 seconds later the double doors swing open, and it’s MJ standing there with his bodyguards and a half dozen of his FBI buddies. One of the security guys standing in the hallway said- “I tried to stop them boss, but there were to many of them.” At that moment, I knew for a fact the other board member was up to no good. 

 

MJ walked up to me, kissed me, and whispered in my ear- “You can hate me for coming to your meeting, but at least I will know you are safe while I am sleeping on the couch tonight.”

Then I whispered in his ear- “I’m sorry I was a bitch to you. I love you.”

Our family lawyer said- “I am glad you showed up. It doesn’t look like they are willing to take no for an answer.”

MJ said- “I am not here to interfere. I support and believe in Malia all the way. I am only here to make sure this is a fair fight.” Then he kissed me and walked to the back of the room.

I whispered to my lawyer- “I love that man.” She whispered back- “Me too today.” Then I turned around, and with complete confidence, because I knew the other board member couldn’t bully me now, said- “That is my husband “MJ The Terrible”. He is not a board member. He is just here for support, like your group is here to support you. I’m ready to get this party started if you are?” Then I sat down. 

The other board member stood up and called the meeting to order. He proposed canceling the vote and rescheduling it for another time. His reason for proposing to cancel the vote was only 2 board members were in attendance, but I have a feeling he proposed canceling the vote because he knew he couldn’t bully me into approving what he wanted.

After the 2 minute meeting was over, I walked up to MJ, and told him he didn’t have to sleep on the couch tonight, on one condition. He had to take me and our lawyer out to a nice breakfast/brunch, to celebrate. He agreed, and took us all out, including his FBI buddies, to a celebratory breakfast/brunch, at The Lafayette restaurant.

MJ, you are an amazing husband and father. I am lucky to have you as my husband, and our babies are lucky to have you as their father. You might not always know the right answers on my Cosmo relationship quizzes, but I know you will always love me, support me, be there for me, and always have my back!

All of my love and devotion,

Malia

P.S. MJ, you told said- “You’ve got to stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.” Well, I stood up for what was right, and I fell even more in love with you. It was a win win.

Baby Making Practice Invite For Michael David Johnson

To: Michael David Johnson

This love video for you is red.

Your mom will be here to pick up the babies soon.

Now bring that sexy body home because I want to make a baby with you in the bedroom!

From: Your Loving Wife Always, But Today I'm Your Love Slave All Day Long!

P.S. You know how you made the "Baby Making Heat Scale" to measure my baby making heat horniness? Well, I just tested myself, and the scale exploded!

P.P.S. Dr. Frincke, you might wanna have the medical staff at Walter Reed on standby, because I'm about to do things to MJ that his body might not be able to handle!

Click here - Malia This Love Video For You Is Red Video

Sometimes "Rock Bottom" Is The Best Place To Start Your Comeback by Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

I am so happy right now. Happier than I have ever been. I went through 5 years of complete hell, which I thought was a curse, because I didn't know that those 5 years of hell, were really the life lessons I needed, to be happy personally, and successful financially.

2012 to 2017 were an all out assault on me mentally, financially, physically, emotionally, socially, and just about every other way I can think of.

After hitting rock bottom, and feeling nothing but depressed, about myself and my future, it hit me. When you have nothing more to lose, that's as bad as it can get, and sometimes it is the best place to be at, to make your comeback.

It took me awhile to realize that, but once I did, I started using it to my advantage. I cleaned house of all of the negative influences in my life, got my priorities straight, and focused on recovering mentally, physically, and emotionally.

The plan I put together with the beautiful angel I'm kissing in this picture, we called- "One Thing At A Time".

We knew it wouldn't be easy, but we also knew if stuck to the plan, we could do it.

We both thought it would take until about the year 2020, to settle and solve all of the problems, challenges, and issues we had.

As we started solving, fixing, handling, etc, one thing at a time, we started building some momentum. It wasn't long before we were knocking out big chunks of the list at a time.

It was one year ago today, February 25th, 2017, that we completed the entire list.

When I rolled over and kissed the beautiful girl in the picture this morning, she reminded me it was the one year anniversary of completing our comeback list.

I told her we completed the list 3 years early. That means we have some extra time to make a new list of things to accomplish.

She asked me what I wanted to accomplish next, and I told her there is only one thing on my list, and that is to love the shit out of her!

She said- "It won't be easy."

I said- Then how about we start one kiss at a time?

From there, use your imagination. #ilovesundays

Valentine's Day & "The One" by Michael "MJ The Terrible" Johnson

Whether you are celebrating Valentine's Day with the one you love, your friends, your family, or will be enjoying some " me time" today, Malia and I would like to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day!

From the time Malia and I started to show an interest in each other, there were some who didn't think it would work, who didn't want us to be together, that tried to tell us why we were wrong for each, that kept giving us reasons why it wouldn't work, and many/most of those people, I'm sure had the best of intentions.

The people who didn't think it would work, forgot to look at all of the reasons we were right for each other, and the reasons that it could work.

Malia and I at the time, didn't have all of the answers to the reasons why we would work. Over time though, we were able to find the answers to the reasons people were giving us, that we wouldn’t work.

I would like to answer those questions right here, right now, because some of you might be going through the same things/might have to answer the same questions, about your relationship, and maybe this will help.

Question: Malia is black, and you are white. That could be a challenge.

Answer: So f..... what! Should we not be with each other, because people might not like the fact that we have different skin colors? We both chose to be happy. If you don't like us, because our skin colors aren't the same, the problem is with you, not with us.

Question: You come from completely different backgrounds. That could lead to problems.

Answer: So f..... what! Should we not be with each other, because people might not like the fact that we come from different backgrounds? We both chose to be happy. If you don't like us, because we come from different backgrounds, the problem is with you, not with us.

Question: MJ is married. Are you willing to break up your marriage to be together?

Answer: This question was answered for us, because my wife left me.

Question: There is a 10 year age difference between you and Malia. How are you going to overcome that?

Answer: So f..... what! Should we not be with each other, because we were born at different times? We both chose to be happy. If you don't like us, because we were born at different times, the problem is with you, not with us.

I could write out and answer the other questions and answers people had for/about us, but the answer to every question that anyone ever had about us/for us, was pretty much the same. At the end of the day, we knew we loved each other, and we were dedicated to making it work/being together.

Is it possible we may not have worked out? Yes. Is it possible that the people who had questions and concerns about us, could have been Right? Yes.

We did listen to people's thoughts and concerns. We really did, but virtually every one of the people who showed concern/had questions about us being together, recommended we talk to each of our best friends, the person each of us turn to in our darkest hour, to see what they thought.

So, we each called our best friend, and asked them what they thought. I called my best friend, her name is Malia, to ask her what she thought. She thought us being together was a good idea. Then Malia called her best friend, his name is MJ, to see what he thought. Her best friend MJ, thought it was a good idea for us to be together also.

When you are in love with your best friend, who knows you inside and out, who is always there for you, who already fits into your life, who understands you, your wants, your needs, your goals, your fears, supports you, and knows what makes you tick, you know you are making the right decision by being with them, regardless of all of the factors that shouldn't matter....age, race, religion, etc.

There are definitely things that can make a relationship more difficult, but life and relationships both have challenges. Malia and I knew there would be challenges, but we knew each other better.

In the summer of 2016, right after I had gotten out of the hospital, Malia and I were sitting on our bed at our house in Bethesda, and she said- "Are you ready to tackle our challenges in Texas now?" I thought about it for a second and said- Yes. She said- "Are you sure?" I said back- You said- Are you ready to tackle our challenges in Texas now, and I said yes, because I'm sure. Then she said- "Why are you so confident?" And I said- Because we already made a comeback from death, you helped me learn how to walk and talk again, we have flipped the script on the truth about me, that I'm not really a villain, we put together a plan to make sure I had shared custody of my son, with my soon to be ex-wife, and we have built 2 successful businesses, all at the same time. Quite frankly, if I was our Texas challenges, I'd be running as fast as I could to get away from us, because we are going to crush them!

Then she said this- "I don't know what the future holds, but if the future doesn't involve us being together, I have some bad news for this future fella, because he is going to be changing his plans."

Bottom line....If you love someone, and they love you back....It's a beautiful thing!