Wednesday, December 9, 2020

"Mr. Right" by Malia May Johnson


Some of my friends have been sharing their recent dating horror stories me.

Either the men they are dating cheated on them, or they treat them like crap, etc.

I try to tell them to keep trying, because there are good guys out there.

Ladies, good men are out there, but Mr. Right might not exactly be walking around wearing a sign that says "I'm Mr. Right".

I met my "Mr. Right" on a military base in San Antonio Texas. Word to the wise ladies, "Mr. Right" may not always be "Mr Perfect". In fact, my "Mr. Right", when I met him wasn't allowed to leave the building on the military base where I met him, because Interpol (International Criminal Police Organization), was about to label my "Mr. Right" as "The most dangerous hacker in the world", and "A threat to cyber security infrastructure worldwide". 

Later down the road, Interpol and the other intelligence agencies around the world would come to realize he was a hero, and he saved the world from nuclear disaster. 

Sometimes you have to see the potential in a possible "Mr. Right", because they might not be "Mr. Right", right now. 

Ladies, you might be one of the only one's, or the only one, who believes your man/the guy you like/love has a lot of potential, but I can tell you this....When your man/the guy you like/love fulfills his true potential, and he realizes you were one of the only one's/the only one who believed in him before he made it, he will love you more than you can possibly imagine. He will love you the way you have always wanted to be loved.

MJ, thank you for being so good to me. I am so glad we found each other. You are Ken, Mr. Right, Prince Charming, and Romeo all rolled into one. 

I let MJ read this post before I posted it. He said- "So I did good?" Yes baby, you did good. You had the potential to become my Mr. Right, and that is exactly what you became! I love you Michael "Mr. Right The Terrible" Johnson!

Sincerely,

Malia May Johnson

Monday, December 7, 2020

Daddy Loves You With All of His Heart Little Princess Elizabeth Grace Johnson


This morning my brother from another Mother Marcus came over to drop something off.

 

Marcus saw my daughter Elizabeth, who's first word by the way was "Dada", and he immediately said - "Aww! Liz is adorable. The boys are going to be lined up around the block to ask her out when she gets older." 

 

Listen here you little future perverts, who are only about 3 years old right now, and I might be 10-15 years early with this warning, but still, this Daddy right here, Uncle Marcus, Uncle Chris, Uncle Kosta, Uncle Kevin, Uncle Matt, Uncle Gary, Uncle CIA, Uncle US Army, Uncle US Airforce, Uncle US Navy, Uncle US Marines, Uncle US Coast Guard, Uncle US Space Force, and Uncle US Secret Service will be watching every single one of you horny little teenagers who try to deflower my little princess! 

 

My little princess Elizabeth Grace Johnson will not be deflowered! I am the most protective Daddy on earth times 10!

 

I'm going to say it one more time for you future hardheaded horny teenagers who may try to make a move on my little baby girl.....My little princess will not be deflowered!

 

Malia walked in while Marcus and I were talking about all the bodyguards, snipers, cameras, satellites, drones, swimming friggin attack ducks, and other Anti-Deflowering Security measures we will be instituting. 

 

Malia said someday a Prince Charming is going to come along, sweep her off her feet, and deflower her in a way that I will be able to live with.

 

Seal Team Six, y'all are on anti-sweeping her off her feet security detail. Feel free to use any and all means necessary to subdue the perpetrator trying to sweep my little Liz off her feet!

 

Malia also thinks she will marry someone just like her Daddy, because that is what little girls do. A little girls Daddy is her first love. I teared up and then I panicked. Liz, when you grow up marry a Doctor. God, please don’t let her fall in love with “Evil Eddie” or something.

 

Malia, you may be right that a Princess Charming may someday sweep my little princess off her feet, but he is going to have to go through the ultimate daddy's little girl protection gauntlet imaginable. 

 

Malia, to answer your question if I will give my little princess away on her wedding day, and the answer is- Never!

 

In all seriousness, I hope my little Princess Liz finds the man of her dreams, and they live happily ever after, but I will be watching you Prince Charming/Man of My Daughter's Dreams!

 

I feel like the luckiest guy/daddy/husband/dude in the world! 

 

Sincerely,


Michael "MJ The Daddy" Johnson


P.S. I really do love being a Daddy..... https://www.mjtheterrible.com/mjtheterribleamericanherohackerisanevenbetterdaddy/


P.P.S. Malia, thank you for making me a Daddy, and thank you for bringing such love and happiness into my life. I never knew true love until we met. You are the light of my life, the fire of my loins, and my penguin infinity forever until the end of days! 


Wednesday, December 2, 2020

“MJ The Terrible” & Team Digital Death Plane Crash Details


I was freaking out because MJ didn’t come home yesterday like he was supposed to, and I knew something was wrong.

He was on a flight with his cyber crew, Team Digital Death, back home from visiting with President Elect Joe Biden and Vice President Elect Kamala Harris.

Well, the plane they were on crashed. MJ’s close friend and member of Team Digital Death Marcus was on the plane with MJ when it crashed.

Marcus said MJ slept through the whole thing. He said everybody was screaming and panicking while MJ was sound asleep and dreaming. “MJ was singing a Pearl Jam song in his dream with a smile on his face, while the plane was in free fall.”

Marcus also said MJ didn’t wake up until the paramedics got there. “MJ woke up saying to this big Lumberjack guy named Chuck- Malia, you feel like messing around?”

When he finally was awake, they said MJ asked where the airport was. He had no idea they crashed in a field and almost died.

Team Digital Death member Kevin who was also on the plane, said when they got out and saw where the plane crash landed, MJ said- “I feel bad for the pilot, because it looks like he tried to Captain Sully the thing, and land it in the water, but he was like 50 feet short. Look how close he was to getting us in the water.”

I swear my husband could be sitting in an open field, not a cloud in the sky, and suddenly out of nowhere the storm of the century would hit the field he was in.

Team Digital Death Member J Munda said MJ was completely calm after the crash while everyone else was scared shitless.

Team Digital Death member Gary said, MJ kept trying to find his phone to call me but couldn’t find it.

I’m glad MJ couldn’t find his phone to call me because I left a couple “Where the f@$k are you messages”, and now I feel like a giant bitch. He almost died and I was thinking he was off doing whatever. I thought the worst, in the wrong way. I absolutely trust MJ, but I was being an emotional pregnant crazy woman when I was leaving MJ the “Where the f@$k are you” messages.

I am glad no one on the plane got hurt. After they all got out of the plane, they said they couldn’t stop laughing because it was like nothing had happened at all to MJ, because he slept through the entire traumatic plane crash experience.

I hate to admit it, but after I found out they were okay, I laughed about it too. You would have to know MJ, to know that only something like this could happen to him.

MJ is just prone to the most unimaginable to anyone else type of things happening to and around him.

In the last 5 years, MJ has had subdural hematoma brain surgery, where he had to learn how to walk and talk again, went through a crazy up and down divorce, had 2 apartment fires, we got jumped at a private pool we were swimming at, a pipe burst in our house, and we had to have most of the interior of part of our house re-done, MJ fell down the stairs saving our son Cash from falling down the stairs, he was just in a plane crash, and more.

There is never a boring day being with MJ, and literally anything can happen, both good and bad.

MJ, I love you. I can’t believe you slept through a freakin plane crash! Marcus was like- “When the pilot announced the plane was going down, everybody buckle up and brace for impact, my black ass was scared as hell! Kevin was yelling “Oh God please don’t let us die!” Gary was flipping the f@$k out. Everybody was thinking they were going to die, and I looked over at our fearless leader MJ, and he’s completely relaxed and asleep humming a f@$king Pearl Jam song! I couldn’t reach him to wake him up. I tried to yell at him to wake him up, but he had his headset on, listening to music. The song your crazy ass husband was humming was “I’m Still Alive”. I was thinking, you are about to not be. Wake the f@$k up!”

Kristi, who is also a Team Digital Death member, and was also on the plane that crashed, was sitting across from Marcus, and next to MJ on his left, but across the aisle, said she told Marcus to let MJ sleep. “There is no reason to wake him up for the last minute of his life to be filled with horror. He has been through a lot of shit. Let’s let him enjoy his last minute of dream sleep.”

I am constantly amazed by how hard MJ tries to do good. He tries so hard to do everything right, and be a good guy, a good father, a good husband, a good friend, use his skills to help people, and all of that, and still utter freakin chaos breaks out around him all the time!

If I heard that MJ was on a plane that crashed into a train, that went off the rails and landed on a boat, that sank down into the water, that ran into a submarine, that was filled with aliens, I would almost believe it at this point.

I have determined that special people like MJ, who live the most interesting lives, are in this world to shape it, change it, hold it together, and to give the rest of us something to talk about/entertain us.

Baby, I am never letting you leave home again! Obviously I’m just kidding, but I love you, and I can’t live without you, so don’t die!

Distinguished Intelligence Cross Awarded To Michael “MJ The Terrible” Johnson For Acts of Extraordinary Heroism – https://www.mjtheterrible.com/distinguished-intelligence-cross-awarded-to-michael-mj-the-terrible-johnson-for-acts-of-extraordinary-heroism/